Tuesday, November 4, 2008

7 Shit Ass Reasons Why People Should Try Linux

Linux fan boys are know to be ardent supporters of Linux. They constantly try to find various ways by which to get their Windows friends to get on the Linux ship.
"Virus? Linux has no virus", "AERO?, Compiz kicks AERO in the teeth". As always some reasons are valid where as some are utter shit! Here is a look at 7 such shit ass reasons people try to sell spread Linux for:

1. Successful people use Linux, Why don't you?
General Comment:
Guys!
Did you know great people use Ubuntu? Like DELL founder and CEO Michael Dell.
Why don't you to start using Ubuntu like great people do?
This is Michael Dell:

Whats Wrong:
While I do admit that Mr. Dell is rich, successful and has few achievements like selling most number of "un-innovative beige boxes" , but great? Has he invented sliced bread?
Michael Dell also uses Macs along with Windows, so should I start using them too? In all he uses 5 computers, should I order 4 more for me?

Whats Right:
Guys!
Did you know that great people like Jack the Ripper never used computers? Why don't you stop using computers like great people do?
This is Jack the Ripper:
[Link]
2. Terminal is Way Cooler Than Boring GUI
General Comment:
Instead of doing boring repetitive click work you can use powerful tools like the terminal. Normal work which requires several minutes of mouse work, you can do the same work using one terminal command!
Introducing 'The Terminal':

Whats Wrong:
Theres nothing much wrong about it, the terminal is a powerful beast, except that
"It is year 2050 and we are on Moon (with our favorite dog), dammit!!!"
No one wants to waste time in front of the shitty terminal. Sure most users use keyboard shortcuts to speed things up, but thats as far as our keyboard love goes. If the terminal is your first love, go rip apart that pesky mouse and go use your mighty keyboard.



4. Install Applications Easily via Synaptic
General Comment :
In Windows you first read a review of the software, then you Google it up to find its homepage, then you go to the download page and scan for the correct version and then download it, then you have to find the folder where you have downloaded the softwares and then double click the .exe, then you have to reboot before you login to finally use the software. Your Linux friend tells this in a horrified tone as if he was reading all crimes against humanity committed by you. You installed Firefox by double clicking the .exe file? OMG!!!
It is also one of the main reasons why Windows users shake their heads and look other way.
Whats Wrong:

Well, I do agree Synaptic does makes installing applications very easy, but only on Linux. Thanks to all the jumbled garbage of commands and those pesky tar balls it get a lot confusing to install software using the terminal. I never have yet been able to successfully compile an tar ball myself. Without Synaptic, I would have been back in XP land.


Whats Right:
Keeping mum about Synaptic, before they actually try and install anything on Linux.



3. You don’t have to wait for years for the bugs to get fixed. You can track them down in Linux
General Comment:
Did you know that in Linux you can see the source code of the OS, you can check the code for any bugs and submit fixes. Microsoft keeps its code hidden, so you won't know if there are any bugs in it. Since Linux and its applications are open source, programmers from anywhere on the globe can find out mistakes!
Whats Wrong:
Yeah, tell that to my grandma. She'll help you with your recipes. Apart from coders nobody has time to read those yummy recipes (codes), forget making changes and submitting fixes. Most users are only interested in surfing, listening to those mp3s and watching movies. However, not everyone has the "dig in and fix it" mentality. They want to use their computer, not fix it. And that's perfectly normal.

Whats Right:
Forget the recipes, GIVE ME THE COOKIES!




5. Oh, Look We Have a Wonderful Community!
With Ubuntu if you have any problem, you don't have to pay for call customer care, you can simply use the forums where, friendly and wonderful people will help you!

Whats Wrong:
This is an fundamental flaw in trying to get your friends start using Linux. You are basically telling him, that pal with Linux, many times your PC will get screwed, but don't worry, PC support is free with our excellent forums!
Yeah, people want a PC which just works! not trawling through your friendly forums. Besides even on Ubuntu forums many times based on your luck, karma, the time in US when you take your breakfast, and the number of spelling mistakes you make, your questions go unanswered.
It is rumored that Jack the Ripper lurks on Ubuntu Forums.



Whats Right:
Because if you don't I won't help you with tech support.

6. Play hundreds of games for $0!
General Comment:
You might not be knowing this, but Linux too has a large collection of games, which unlike Windows are completely free! Most Linux distros ship with a default set of exiting games, you can always add more for free! And using Wine you can play amazing games like WoW!
Whats Wrong:
Well, what your Linux friend tries to hide from you is that the games available for Linux would have been hip if it was 1990. The default games shipped with most distros are minesweeper, sudoku, card games, chess etc hardly stuff worth drooling about. It is akin to telling people to upgrade to Vista because it has stunning 3D games like 3D Chess.



Whats Right:
You can play all your favorite flash games on Linux!


7. You will help a revolution by using Linux
General Comment:
Hi, I use Ubuntu and I have been a Linux user for 7 years now. I feel all of us should support Linux and open source technologies. Microsoft, Apple and other such closed source advocates follow an model which discourages progress and development of PC as a platform. Open source innovations like Firefox show that the future of Open source is the future of the world. So support Linux. Say no to Windows and start using Linux! And yeah, vote for Ron Paul, in 2012!
Whats Wrong:
Dude, most users don't give a shit about their softwares being open source or not. Sure being open source is all good and well but I will never choose any half baked application, simply because it is open source over some better alternative which isn't open source. Firefox is successful because it is an amazing browser and comes with tons of useful extensions which help me decide how I use the web (Adblock and Flashblock) rather than letting others dictate terms. What about Safari? It also uses the open source Webkit platform but sucks ass!


Whats Right:
Use Linux coz it is free, free as in thought and free as in Beer!

Hell I know nobody Diggs my articles, still Digg it!!! If you liked this you would like reading 7 Reasons Why KDE Sucks!


[I don't write for cracked.com]

11 comments:

  1. You should also check this:

    http://thelinuxrant.com/a-very-pissed-windows-users-oppinion-on-linux.html

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice article.
    Also u forgot those exiting boot loaders which linux has to offer esp GRUB.U can even set the background of grub to an image.Thats kinda cool.
    Whereas WinVista boot screen/boot loader sucks.
    It writes overthe MBR without an option.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That picture is not Jack the Ripper. It's Charles Manson.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ Anonymous:
    "That picture is not Jack the Ripper. It's Charles Manson."
    Obviously!
    Jack the Riper was never caught.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Thanks to all the jumbled garbage of commands and those pesky tar balls it get a lot confusing to install software using the terminal. I never have yet been able to successfully compile an tar ball myself. Without Synaptic, I would have been back in XP land."

    Do you have an easier time downloading the source code to a Windows application and compiling it yourself? Because that is the ONLY comparison you can make. You have no reason at all to be compiling software on Linux anymore than you do on Windows. It's just that Linux distributes binaries as a part of the distribution to ensure compatibility and ease installation, instead of each application rolling its own binaries. This is one argument that is 100% true, not "shit ass" as you put it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow times have changed.... so its now the windows fanbois doing the hating. hrmmm.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm not sure if I should justify this idiots "article" with a comment... I vote that this article be removed purely based on the fact that linux does not stop at rpm based distros (where terminal use is terminal to the basic life and survival of your system, last time I checked anyway), since Synaptic is mentioned, I'm sure our friend is in the Ubuntu arena, but since version 9.x upwards, life is a total dream, double click installs of .deb apps runs flawlessly (et al .exe habit...) and yes, discriminating against grandmothers as a generation is not nice, as I have my Grandpa on Ubuntu, he started using computers at age 72... I train newbies from the outset on Ubuntu, never showing them Windows at all, no issues. My whole company runs on Ubuntu, from accounting right through to the Radius server. Yes, I even play games on my Ubuntu PC. PIII desktop pc for a Media Server, no problem, no AntiVirus needed, so less resources used. My 19month old Daughter will never be exposed to Windows as far as I'm concerned, Oh and btw... she's already navigating around on the Media Server for her Fav Toons.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great article. Very intersting. Ayone who read this will try linux

    ReplyDelete
  9. While I kind of agree that trying to get Windows users to switch to Linux is a waste of time (I don't try to get teenagers to pull their pants up either), most of your "arguments" here are barely intelligible.

    Also, as others have pointed out, that's Charles Manson, not Jack the Ripper. A big giveaway (besides being semi-conscious during the 20th century) is that they didn't have photography in Victorian England.

    Overall, you mostly convinced me that blogging isn't for everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like the article - for those that read it and agree with it, - stay away from Linux - I make my money off of you, repairing your operating systems and cleaning your viri. For me, I have no windows OS in my house - only unix/linux distros. Here, I just want to be able to do things without all the added effort of keeping the operating system above water.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Who the hell wrote this anyway?
    Also if any one knows this person please slap them hard in the face for me!
    Also I think thats actually a picture of Charles Manson...

    ReplyDelete

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